dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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