it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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