If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
