so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
nutella sex= disaster
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
