good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
