as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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