well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
