I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you win again, gameday.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
