If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
