I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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