would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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