Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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