He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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