I feel like abortions should bother me more
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
