At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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