you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i will never coherently bang her
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
