K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
