we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
