were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
