He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
