so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
