I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
