OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
