i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
