ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
