she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
