i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm sobbing to NWA
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
