You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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