I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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