I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You pole danced in your parka.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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