sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
