I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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