dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My pussy is not your playground.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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