Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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