I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
