yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
