dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
