i wish my penis had a tongue
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
