He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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