We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
