You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You should frame my arrest warrant.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
