An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
