Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
