There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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