Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
