Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
