just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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