I hope mine doesn't look like that
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
