I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
