What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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