Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
