Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
