He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
