Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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