I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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